PTDD III: Gentlemen’s Afflictions
Historic clothing maladies are not limited to female sufferers. The manly set has their own unique afflictions. Most choose to “tough it out” without seeking treatment. We urge all distaff sewists to exercise extreme compassion for the brawnier sex; their suffering is rarely recognized, and even less often mitigated by proven remedies.
The patient is never satisfied with the facings applied to pants. Said “pants” might actually be trowsers (alt trousers), drawers, breeches, britches, or even, in Naval cases, slops.
One known treatment for Pantar Faciitis is the liberal application of tequila. For Naval sufferers, add lime.
Benign popaloma may be diagnosed when the sufferer exhibits an unfortunate tendency to lose buttons in largely less-vital garment areas, such as sleeve cuffs, or the lower shirt button. Acute popaloma refers to the chronic and sudden departure of key trouser buttons, often while the wearer is in a crouched or otherwise vulnerable posture.
Tieromaniacs become unhealthily obsessed with cravats, and the spider’s web of knots one can tie them with. Many sufferers were former Boy Scouts.
Contributors include forum members Noah Briggs, Joanna Jones, Denise Butler, Barbara Smith, Bevin McCrae, Rebekah W, Anna Worden Bauersmith, Eileen Hook, Annette Bethke, Amanda Rawls, Amanda Carol, Sarah Meister, Mary Gutzke, Jeni Hulet, K Krewer, Melissa Marie, Carolann Schmitt, Jean, Sarah King, Kimberly Jackson, Cassandra, Michael Mescher, Stormi Souter, Rebecca Roberts, Lissa Wilson, and of course, yours truly, since I just can’t control myself when terrible puns are in the offing.